


Two Truths and a Lie

by ChrisCalledMeSweetie



Series: It's All Fun and Games [6]
Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 08:08:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21950095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChrisCalledMeSweetie/pseuds/ChrisCalledMeSweetie
Summary: Douglas shares his confidence, Martin shares his fears, Arthur shares his enthusiasm, and Carolyn — however begrudgingly — shares her aeroplane.
Series: It's All Fun and Games [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1379443
Comments: 36
Kudos: 44
Collections: Fandot Secret Santa: 2019 Edition





	Two Truths and a Lie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Marsetta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marsetta/gifts).



“I used to be a captain, I should be the captain, and I am the captain.”

“Ha ha — very funny. Not. And anyway, that’s a point for me, because it’s obvious which you consider to be the lie. Even though one could argue you’ve put two lies in there.”

“One could so argue, but one would be wrong.”

“Hi, Chaps. Mind if I join you? Mum’s in a mood.”

“Sure, Arthur. We’re playing Two Truths and a Lie. And I’m actually winning.”

“Brilliant, Skip. How do you play?”

“You have to say three things about yourself, and if someone guesses which one is the lie, they get a point.”

“Can I go?”

“Sure.”

“Okay, um… My name is Arthur, I’m twenty-nine and a half years old, and I have a dog named Snoopadoop.”

“But all those things are true.”

“I know! I’m terrible at lying.”

“But the game is Two Truths and a Lie. There has to be a lie, or the game won’t work.”

“Give it up, Martin. Arthur is constitutionally incapable of playing this game by the rules. It’s your turn.”

“Fine. Let’s see… I’m afraid of spiders, I’m afraid of snakes, and I’m afraid of heights.”

“Well, that’s nearly as obvious as mine was. You can’t be afraid of heights.”

“Ha! Gotcha, Douglas. I _am_ afraid of heights.”

“But you’re a pilot, for a given definition of the word. We regularly fly at heights over 30,000 feet.”

“That’s different. Being on a plane is the same whether it’s on the ground or in the air. But if I’m just high up, somewhere, on my own, it makes my stomach flip and my legs go weak.”

“What about the time you phoned me from up a tree?”

“I was terrified!”

“Then why did you climb it in the first place?”

“Carolyn told me to, and I was more terrified of _her.”_

“Well, that’s sensible. But if that wasn’t the lie, which one was?”

“I’ll let Arthur have a guess.”

“Oooh… Hmmm… Well, you wouldn’t be afraid of spiders, ‘cause spiders are brilliant. Did you see Charlotte’s Web? No one could be afraid of Charlotte. But then snakes are brilliant, too. I saw this show where a snake turned into Doctor Who. It was brilliant!”

“Are you talking about Good Omens?”

“Maybe. Was that the episode where the Doctor fell in love with the angel? Not one of the weeping angels — now _they’re_ terrifying! — but a really soft angel. And they went traveling through time together, even though we never got to see them in the Tardis. And then—”

“I think you’re getting off track, Arthur. You have to guess which of Martin’s other statements was a lie.”

“I think they both were.”

“Nope. I like snakes, but spiders give me the heebie-jeebies.”

“Awww… Cute little spiders?”

“Arthur, what are you doing up here? You should have put our dinner on ten minutes ago!”

“Sorry, Mum. We’ve been playing Two Truths and a Lie.”

“Well, let’s see how you do with mine. I own this plane, I run this company, and the people I fly with bring me nothing but joy.”

“Don’t worry, Mum. I’ll bring you dinner, too.”

…

“He really is a joy, isn’t he?”

“That’s no lie.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Fandot Secret Santa gift for Marsetta, who prompted “afraid of heights.” By a stroke of luck (or organizational genius) Marsetta was also my Secret Santa, and created [adorable artwork](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21946135) for me inspired by my fic [Gay Pilots](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19313716). Check it out. 😄
> 
> Please excuse the apparent inconsistency involved in Arthur still being twenty-nine and a half after Good Omens has come out. Suspension of disbelief is one of the joys of fiction (and a necessary ingredient for GERTI ever getting off the ground).
> 
> See how well you do guessing which of my three statements is a lie:
> 
> Only Father Christmas cares about what you want.  
> Kudos are brilliant!  
> Comments are BRILLIANT!


End file.
